Blind Scuba Divers is the moniker and stage name of one man, Jonathan Keyes.
Yes, we know this is contrary to the plural nature of his name.
The BSD debut EP is called Greatest Hits Volume 2. Yes, thats right, Greatest Hits Volume 2.
Blind Scuba Divers have balls of steel. You can too, just come to a concert.
He takes shots of tequila every Saturday night with his grandma Gertrude Kieselstein
before he hits the town.
He writes, sings, raps, produces, and performs, but he does scuba dive at night,
only during the day (Mom's Advice).
Keep that in mind if you ever want him to take you on a yacht with Leonardo Dicaprio for
a summer vacation.
He doesn't have a tan, but as evidenced by his song "Working On My Tan Bitch", he is
certainly working on it.
His music is meant to make you shake it (but don't stir it). By "it", we mean your body.
Yes this is a computer typing.
He drops tracks all day so you can party your ass off all night.
He was not in either the movie The Abyss or Titanic, however if James Cameron would
like to license a song for one of the upcoming Avatar movies, he's down.
His influences are Oprah Winfrey, Joy Behar, Barbara Streisand, Diplo, Hardwell, Beastie Boys,Lionel Richie, Rage Against the Machine, Eminem and music that doesn't suck.
He plays multiple instruments including guitar, bass, keys, kazoo, and can freestyle but
then again every rapper is just Eminem's intern.
He does not actually know "Jason Bourne", but he wrote a catchy little number about
him. Matt Damon may or may not appear in the music video, but definitely not Jeremy Renner.
He may or not have gone to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…at Universal
Lava Records Founder Jason Flom put it best, "Blind Scuba Divers make the best worst music
I've ever heard...guilty pleasure listening." Mind you, it his fault Blind Scuba Divers has
a deal. He also signed him on the spot after hearing "Working On My Tan Bitch". Again,
Blind Scuba Divers takes no responsibility for the outcome of Mr. Flom's decision. This
is a legal disclaimer for when his debut EP for the label officially drops in 2014.